Be Yourself: The Most Ignored Advice in the World

Yesterday, I posted a review of Fredrik Eklund's excellent book "The Sell." In the first chapter, he discusses the idea of "being you." The problem with most salespeople (and the general population) is that we really do not like being authentic. It makes us nervous. People might not like the "real us." So we create a facade.

This is abundantly clear in the world of real estate. To date, I've found very few agents that seem to be comfortable being themselves. The vast majority seem to be conforming to what they believe a real estate agent is supposed to be. They dress the same, talk the same, and use the same channels to gain their chunk of their local real estate market. 

In his book, Eklund gives quite a few real estate-specific tips. Not surprisingly, I see a ton of agents copying him exactly. They assume because HE successfully implemented the tip, THEY will see the same results. Of course they do not because, fundamentally, they're not Eklund. Eklund's shtick works for him because he leverages his own unique traits. If we had a clone of Eklund, it would make sense to copy him exactly. Otherwise, it's a stupid strategy.  

One of my all-time favorite authors in Hugh MacLeod. In his excellent book "Ignore Everybody", which should be required reading for all creative types, hammers this point home throughout the book. From his "Gaping Void" blog (which is just a taste of the book's content):

"Piccasso was a terrible colorist. Turner couldn’t paint human beings worth a damn. Saul Steinberg’s formal drafting skills were appalling. TS Eliot had a full-time day job. Henry Miller was a wildly uneven writer. Bob Dylan can’t sing or play guitar.

But that didn’t stop them, right? So I guess the next question is, “Why not?” I have no idea. Why should it?"

All of these wildly successful people were wildly successful even though they kinda sucked at the skills their profession requires. They were successful because they discovered their own path, and that path mitigated their shortcomings. 

Back to Eklund. 

There's a good reason he makes his point in the very first chapter in the book. If you fail to learn this lesson, you will fail. Minimally, you will never fully actualize your potential. His quote sums the idea up perfectly:

"Every day - no matter what your station in or your line of work, - you are selling yourself. You. Are. Your. Brand. And. Your. Product. In business, it's important to know your product, but it's more important to know yourself and what you bring to the table. People trust what's genuine."

I personally embraced this advice years ago, and the positive effects have been overwhelming. The moment I stopped trying to copy successful people is the moment I started attracting a genuine audience. 

"But wait," you exclaim, "isn't it good to learn from those that are actually successful?" They continue "Why reinvent the wheel?"

Here's the key. Do not copy successful people. Instead, learn what they do and why it works for them. Then do some experimentation to test their methods using your own strengths. If an idea works, keep it! If it doesn't work? Abandon it and consider revisiting it at some point in the future. 

This self-experimentation is done to enhance your brand, not to define your brand. You have to be you. Find your own voice, then sing from the mountaintops!

For funsies, here's a few examples of me "singing in my own voice." Yeah, I'm kinda weird. But I have fun. And I've learned that makes for a killer combination when it comes to influence. Trust Eklund's advice. Trust my advice. Be yourself.

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Book Review: "The Sell: The Secrets of Selling Anything to Anyone" by Fredrik Eklund

Fredrik Eklund is a bit of a rock star in the real estate world. As one of the nation's top grossing agents and a star of "Million Dollar Listing: New York", Eklund is one of the most recognizable agents in the world. This gives him ample credibility as the author of "The Sell: The Secrets of Selling Anything to Anyone."

And I knew nothing about him prior to reading this book. 

Before starting the licensing process, I didn't pay attention to industry news. I also don't watch much reality TV. After reading the book, I just might add his show to my rotation. The book is that good. 

As the title suggests, the book is a basic guide to selling anything. While Eklund is involved in real estate (thus making the information even more valuable to real estate agents), he does an excellent job of generalizing the advice to anyone that's involved in the sales game. 

The book is broken down into three sections. The first section covers issues related to you as an individual, such as being authentic, identifying your motivations, how to look good, how to take care of yourself, and the basics of social interactions.

The second section covers topics like finding clients, persuasive communication, and basic negotiating.

The final section includes advice on recruiting team members, getting attention, and how to operate your business. All three sections combined create a surprisingly comprehensive collection of selling advice. 

I've encountered most of the concepts in psychology (one of my undergrad majors) or in other business books (from folks like Seth Godin, Chris Guillebeau, and the dudes that wrote "Rework.") I had ample opportunity to test the theories and ideas as a high school teacher. Nothing hones your selling skills like trying to make school engaging for 150 apathetic teenagers every day for two decades.

I digress.

Eklund's genius utilizes the same formula I've used in my own writing. He's entertaining, shares ample personal stories, and has a knack for distilling complex ideas in easy-to-understand language. Together, this makes the book an easy read. 

If I had a complaint, it wouldn't be about the book itself so much as how the book seems to be used. Eklund spends A LOT of time making the point that successful people follow their own path. They don't simply copy those at the top. Despite this, I see FAR too many real estate agents implementing the exact same ideas he uses as examples. As expected, those attempts at mimicry fall completely flat. 

Sigh. 

Based on the comprehensive information and easy-to-understand format, this book should be required reading for anyone new to sales in general and real estate in particular. In our office, this book will probably be THE foundation of our new agent training. 

Buy the book from Amazon by clicking this link!

Have you read the book? Share your thoughts in the comments section!

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